|
[Wednesday
11.18.09] |
Last night I went to see Metric with Jen. I'd never heard them before, but I've become a huge fan, just from their live performance. I also saw Band Of Skulls, which is this totally rockin' band with a badass chick bassist. Metric had an amazing stage presence, with a brilliant light show behind them. That concert just renewed how much I miss live music.
On a totally different (but not unrelated note), I've been at work for 1/2 hour. It's 5:53am. The Metric show got over at 11:30 & we didn't even get home til midnight. My body hates me; I am exhausted.
|
|
|
[Monday
11.16.09] |
I never talk about day to day stuff with you guys. There's so much going on in my world that you all don't know about. I'm not very good at writing these types of entries, but I'll try.
I'm really excited for Thursday. Jen, Kraven, Kourtney (my girlfriend, my best friend & Jen's best friend) & I are taking a mini road trip to Nashua, NH. I'm going to see Ryan Ouellette at Precision Body Arts to do a microdermal for me, as well as to check my anatomy for a triangle & large gauge navel. It'll be nice to get out of Portland for the day; plus, I feel like New Hampshire is a second home to me. I've been wanting to get work done by Ryan for awhile now, so it's really awesome that I'm finally getting down to go see him.
Lately, I've felt like my only real friends are Kraven & Kourtney. After my birthday party, Dan stopped talking to me for some reason... which, as my best friend, seemed weird. They had a party at his apartment for Liz's 21st birthday, but didn't tell me. That apartment is SERIOUSLY my second home; I usually have either Dan or Jude's set of keys, I go over there at least once a day. We were a family - me, Jen, Kraven, Kourtney, Dan, Jude & Mikee... plus sometimes Linda, Ramsey, Tracie, Meesh or Jesse. We saw them all out at the bar Friday night & it freaked me out, so I left early. I haven't been coping well with abandonment issues.
78 days until I move to California. I'm petrified & excited all at once. I know it's a positive step for me, but how am I suppose to feel comfortable leaving the place I've called home for 22 years?
I've had an awful headache for the last 4 or 5 days. No amount of asprin will make it go away. I'm thinking it's just stress, but I wish I had health insurance so I could go see a doctor.
I love going out to the bars; being social, drinking. I've found myself not being as excited to go out lately, though. It's an old game - saying hello to everyone you're "suppose" to, keeping up apperances because that's what's "expected" of you, being everyone's best friend on the dance floor & gossiping about them during the next cigarette break. I bitch about it, but these are my people. These are the people who tell me their secrets because they trust me because I don't gossip; the people who get drunk & flirt with me because I'm not skankin' it up.
Jen & I are tense, but growing. I doubt she'll ever be a topic of conversation on this journal; she's too... she's not up for discussion.
I wish I was rich. I don't like to admit that, but it's true. I like material things; they make me happy. I want to buy all the heels & high-waist skirts I want. I'm sick of budgeting, of buying off sale racks, of saving just to spend the money on bills. I like to splurge & I have no doubt that my complusive shopping habits will always keep me in debt.
I like who I am as a person, who I'm shifting to become. The only person I'll ever need to make me happy is myself.
|
|